What Happens When the Novelty Wears Off...

Those of you that are friends with me on Facebook know that this has been quite a tough week in our house. Allison started school last Thursday and was quite excited about it. I knew the first few days would be okay but I wasn't sure how she'd feel once the novelty wore off and she realized she was really going to be gone for 6 hrs a day five days a week. It all started on Monday night as I was putting Allison to bed. She told me she didn't want to go to school on Tuesday. She just wanted to stay at home and play with her toys. I told her not to worry, she was going to have a great day and said good night. Tuesday morning she woke up and got dressed and seemed just fine...until the middle of breakfast.

She didn't eat much at all and again started telling me that she didn't want to go to school. I tried to encourage her and remind her how much fun it was. I think my words went in one ear and out the other because she started to cry. Jeff has been driving her to school because it's easier for him to take her on his way to work while I stay home with Daniel. School starts at 8am but at 7:45 the teacher walks all the kids form outside into the school and to their classroom. So I knew that Allison had to be at school by 7:45 so that she could walk in with her teacher. It was time for her to go but the crying only got worse. It truly broke my heart to see her so upset. You see, the problem is, I could completely relate to her emotions. I too went through the same emotions every year at the beginning of school. I know how scary and intimidating it can be. And it's even harder because it's a new school and all new kids (for the most part). She was VERY close with her preschool class from last year, she even said to me that she wanted to go back to preschool.I I ended up carrying her out to the car and tried to buckle her in - she unbuckled the seatbelt. I tried to buckle her in again, once again she unbuckled the seatbelt. At this point, with my eyes welled up with tears, I realized Jeff needed to take over. I couldn't be the one to force my daughter to do something that made her so upset. Thank goodness for my wonderful husband who calmed her down and drove her to school. She managed to stop crying for a few minutes but when they walked up to the school, she completely lost is again. Her teacher tried to take her hand but apparently she pulled the "velcro" move that she learned a few weeks earlier form a speaker at the library who teaches kids how to escape from a kidnapper and seek help (ie, grab onto someone, tell them you need help and don't let go!) I actually found that kinda humorous when Jeff told me. Parents weren't supposed to be allowed into the school this week during drop-off, but given Allison's hysterical condition, Jeff was allowed to walk into the hallway and halfway to her class. At some point, the teacher was able to get her to hold her hand and Jeff was able to break away and leave. Of course, he had to go to work knowing that the last thing he saw was her crying while walking down the hallway - doesn't make for a great day in the office.

That afternoon I picked Allison up and she was happy as a clam. I didn't want to bring up the issue with her so we went on with our day. That night, as I was putting her to bed, she started saying "I don't want to go, I just don't want to go." I figured this was a good opportunity to talk about what was bothering her. I asked her what she didn't like about school and she told me it was the lunch. Turns out, she doesn't like eating in the big cafeteria - there are lots of kids in there, it's very noisy and she doesn't feel comfortable in there. Plus she never seems to have enough time to eat her lunch. She told me she cried at lunch the previous week because she didn't have time to eat her cookie. I asked her if she liked everything else about school and she said "yes". It was just the lunch part that she disliked so much. So the next day, I decided to write her a teacher a note and explain why Allison was so upset the previous morning. The note said "Mrs. Lynn, the reason Allison has been so upset in the morning is because she doesn't like eating in the big cafeteria. Any help you can provide to calm her fears is greatly appreciated." Allison got up on Wednesday morning without much fuss, got dressed and it wasn't until she was eating her breakfast that I could tell she was going to get upset again. And again, she started crying and saying she didn't want to go to school. Again, my heart ached for her. I told her that I wrote a note to the teacher, and I read it to her. It seemed to help soothe her for a bit, but she was still not to thrilled about going to school. She did manage to get into the car (no unbuckling the seatbelt this time) without crying but as they pulled out of the driveway I could see her getting upset. Again, it was in Jeff's hands - thank goodness because once again I don't think I could have handled having to take her to school in that condition. Wednesday morning was similar to Tuesday - she cried her way into school and Jeff walked with her into the building and then quickly left, only to have to go to work again thinking about how he had to leave his daughter crying at school (probably not a very productive couple of days for him at work).

When I picked Allison up on Wednesday, she was once again happy. Pickup is quite a hectic time but I was able to make eye contact with her teacher, who gave me a thumbs up and told me she wrote me a note and put it in Allison's backpack. I asked Allison how her day went, and she proceeded to tell me that at lunch, she got to be the line leader and lead all the kids to the lunchroom, and then they had a girl from her class named Gina sit next to her and help her out. I was so thrilled at the response from my little note. I could tell the little changes they made truly helped Allison feel at ease in the cafeteria. I looked at the note when I got home and it read "gave her a bud (friend) to sit with - helped her unpack all her lunch and she helped clean up the table. No tears :)" It warmed my heart that despite the fact that her teacher has 23 other kids to worry about, she put forward the effort to help my child feel more comfortable in her new environment. It made me realize what a wonderful school and wonderful teacher she has.

Last night, there was no complaining at bed. This morning, they were out the door without a tear and Jeff walked her up to the school without a tear. He said she seemed a bit timid but he gave her two hugs and she was on her way. It was only a 1/2 day of school today so they ate an early lunch in their classrooms. Tomorrow it's back to the cafeteria again. Hopefully the progress she made on Wednesday will continue. We shall see. In the car today, she did tell me how much she loves school and wants to go everyday. We're just going to take it day by day. I knew this second week was probably going to be tough but I had no idea how tough it truly would be. All I can say is that I have the most wonderful friends. So many people e-mailed, called, and wrote me messages on Facebook to show their support and write words of encouragement. I know it might sound Like I'm making a big deal out of this but to see your child in that condition and know there is only so much you can do or say really is heartbreaking to a mother. I just want to thank all of my amazing friends for their support this week and of course my wonderful husband for dealing with the most difficult part - dropping her off at school. He called me this morning after drop off went well and said 'This rocks!" Guess he was able to have a productive day today.