Coping and Understanding

I've always felt Allison to be a child well beyond her years. Whether it be through conversation, her writing or how she understands the world around her. While she definitely has her "5-year old" moments, these past few months have really showed me what a caring and mature little girl she is. It's been a little over three months since my nephew Miles passed away. From the day we found out my sister was pregnant to the day he was born to the day he passed away, we often talked about him. I showed Allison every single picture my sister sent me and they always brought a smile to our faces. She really felt a connection with him even though she never had the chance to meet him. One of the hardest things I ever had to do was try to explain to Allison that her cousin was taken from us at much to young an age and he is now in heaven. Over the past few months since his passing, Allison has made many pictures for Miles and talks about him often. At first, I was concerned about the pictures. I thought "Maybe she doesn't understand. Does she want to give him these pictures? Does she realize she will never be able to do that?" But I eventually came to realize that this was her way of understanding and coping with losing her cousin. I believe she does understand that while she can't physically give him the pictures, she feels he can see them from heaven. I'm just amazed at how she is so caring to create something so special for someone she never had the opportunity to meet, but loves dearly. I just wanted to share one of these pictures, because I found it very heartwarming. She explained the picture to me as "It's a picture of me holding baby Miles. If he was still alive I would hold him all the time because I love him so much and that's why I drew all the hearts."

On the back of the picture, she wrote To: Miles Love: Allison and drew a picture of herself and a stuffed bear that she wants to give to Miles.

I'm not writing this post to generate sadness because, although we miss Miles more than anything and we think about his every day, Allison's picture really brought a feeling of peace to me. Peace in knowing that she has such compassion and love in her heart.